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Disciple of Jesus Christ, saved by grace, pressing on to take hold of that for which Christ took hold of me (Phil 3:12). Blessed to be the crown of my husband and a steward of 3 children entrusted to us. I have the gift of today and hope of tomorrow. I am driven by the pursuit of His glory and maybe I have come to the kingdom for such a time as this (Esther 4:13)! As a family the desire of our soul is for His name and for the remembrance of Him.(Isaiah 26:8).

Friday, May 28, 2010

A cake that never saw 8 candles.

Dear Hannah,

With feelings of pain mixed with hope we celebrate your birthday. Celebrating your birthday is different in your absence. Do we celebrate or do we mourn? Do we sing or do we cry? I do not know my child, but I know we have a common place where our hearts are united in hope. And that is in the presence of our Lord.

When the birthday reminder that was set on my phone beeped today, I did not know what to do. I lifted my heart to my God and tearfully remembered what it would have been if you were here. Your position as an older sister is still open but never to be filled or taken by anyone. Down here on this earth, we are bound by time and space. So for us time translates to years and ages. we age and we grow. But I remember how different it is in heaven. Heaven is not bound by time or space. There is no aging and so there might not be birthdays. But I know only to live as a human and in my human understanding I celebrate your 8th birthday.

May God's name be glorified in that cake that never saw 8 candles.
May God's name be glorified in the balloons that were never blown for you this year.
May God's name be glorified in the toys that were never bought and the fun that we never had together celebrating you and singing over you.
May God's name be glorified in the absence of my firstborn.
May God's name be glorified when you did not go to second grade,but all your friends did.
May God's name be glorified in the wound that surfaces every year as your memories washes it to the shore.
May God's name be glorified in and through our lives in your absence and in all the pain and tears and may the purpose for which God allowed it take completion in every way.

The desire of our soul O Lord, is for your name and for the remembrance of You.

1 comment:

Annie said...

The way you life your faith, and glorify God through Hannah's short life is a living testimony.

We continue to celebrate the gift of Hannah that we were able to share for a short time!