Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Monday, September 29, 2008

Hannah Jokes!!

When Hannah was about three years old, I told her about the crucifixion. I told her how Jesus was hung on the cross and how he died for her sins and how much he loved her... Then just to make it dramatic I said, "Hannah, When Jesus was dying on the cross, he cried, 'Hannah... I love you'!" Hannah almost stopped me instantly and said "No Mommy". I was puzzled and asked her why, and this is what she responded- "When Jesus died on the cross, he cried "Hannah... Help me!!"

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Proud sister!!

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Story or Future?

This is a very significant story Hannah wrote few weeks before her home going. This puzzled everyone who saw it. She talks about a girl named Abigail who loved the park and asked her parents to take her to the park. Then she goes on to say " There was one thing that was danger for her." When Hannah wrote this story I was quite amused at the ending and wanted to know what the danger was. So I asked her to complete the story. She had been working for sometime and wanted to do something else. She reluctantly agreed and took the pencil to write the next sentence. She wrote "There" and left that work undone. Hannah loved going to the park. One of the rewards for her, was always a trip to the park. I remember, once I had promised to take her to the park but I was very tired at the end of the day and wanted to rest. Hannah kept on 'claiming her promise', until I decided to change my mind and take her. As we walked to the park, she was affectionate towards me and started rubbing my hands and shoulders and said " Amma, are u tired? Can you walk? Its OK Amma, we will reach there soon."
On the way to her school is the Columbia park. She had never been there. Every time we drove to school, she would ask me," Amma, can you take me to this park, one day?" That day, on July 23rd, I requested off from work and was all excited to have a picnic with Hannah at the Columbia park. I never knew 'there was a danger for her' waiting us on that day.
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Posted by PicasaThis is another work Hannah did, during this summer. I like this one, because she is bidding good bye to her room, her swing set, her friends... and then the text says "I do not want to go."
The next paragraph brags about her new house and at the end it says " I am glad to be here."
What a truth this is to all of us here!!. When we are here, we do not want to go to our new home in heaven. But I am sure once we reach heaven, we will all say, "I am glad to be here!!" To leave her friends, was what she found bad about moving. To the question " what do you think is good about moving?" she says " Because we have a new home"
Hannah wrote all this without any help from me. We were planning to move from our present home and had booked a new home, some time back. Hannah was looking forward to move to this new home. Everything she wrote in this text was about moving to her new home. She was looking forward to moving. But her heavenly Father was building another home for her. She would never have wanted to move from here, had she known this. But I know for sure she must be saying now, " I am glad to be here." And must be waiting in eager expectation for all of us to get there.

"4 people in this family"

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Hannah had a tough time understanding the concept of family. She would say " We are four families." instead of saying " there are 4 people in our family." Her dad explained to her many times but she would repeat the same mistake. Finally Hannah understood this concept and this picture tells me that Hannah knew that there were 4 people in our family.
It is interesting to note that Hannah drew glasses on her Dad's face.

Friday, September 19, 2008

This was written by Hannah on 7/23/08. She wrote it under my 'To-do list'. Hannah was very happy to learn that I was taking her to the park. Out of her joy, she grabbed my pencil and wrote this thank you note. When I look at it now, I wonder if she was thanking me for the 6 years she spend with us. Though she thanked me in advance for the picnic I planned for her, she never made it to the park that morning.

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Last family picture with Hannah.

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This Pic was taken on Christmas last year. Hannah was selected as an Angel for the Christmas play along with her best friend Sita. She loved being an angel. Surely she must be walking with angels now! Posted by Picasa

On Abigail's dedication.

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Hannah's letter.

This is a very recent letter that Hannah wrote to me. The beauty of this letter is that it was written out of an instant emotion. Hannah was very cranky that day along with her baby sister. The reason Hannah was angry was because she was hungry. We had been gone shopping and didn't have enoughtime to stop by one more store to buy Hannah's swim cap. when we returned both kids were cranky. I managed to get Hannah some chicken nuggets to eat and then wrote a letter to her, apologising for not buying her the swim cap that she was looking forward to, that day. Hannah read my letter with excitement and then wrote this reply to me.
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Thursday, September 18, 2008

The important thing about us.

On July 23 rd morning, I gave Hannah some work to do before heading to the park with her. I gave her instructions on how to do the poem. The topic was ' The important thing about Neighbors'. Hannah did not write anything about neighbors, but what she wrote bring tears to our eyes. She starts off with how she likes to see her baby sister smile! Then as if to reassure everyone, her last poem was a love note to her Amma, Appa, Juju,Appacha and Ammachi. [Mom, Dad,Sister, Grandpa and Grandma]. At the end she wrote

"But the important thing about us is that we are moving."
In a few hours after writing this poem Hannah was certainly "moved".She was moved from her earthly tent to a better place. When we returned from the hospital that day after Hannah passed away, her pencil was still inside this book, all her books on the table, the cloring set under the table.. everything was intact... except she was "moved...."

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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Honest Hannah.

Posted by PicasaThis is the first award Hannah got in school. They have 'Spirit and Honor' assembly every once a month and children are given awards based on character trait, student of the month and christian witness. Hannah got her first award for character trait and the trait Mrs.Ashby found in her was 'honesty.' I was very proud of her when she got this award. The way it is done, it is a surprise for the kids but the parents are informed beforehand. That morning as I dressed Hannah for the school, I told her they were giving away awards and just as to see her response I told her "I wish, you get one too!." Hannah immediately told me, "You know what, I think I am going to get one today." When her name was called, she was very excited, she ran to the front and I thought, she didn't have enough face for her smile! Her eyes spotted me at the back of the assembly line, from there she used her gestures and blurted out, "I told you, I told you, I told you I was going to get it." And I gestured back to her, OK,OK!. That night we celebrated. I don't remember how, but we were very happy as a family because that was her first award.

Birthday wish, last wish.

Hannah celebrated her sixth birthday, hardly two months before her home going. I had asked her to give me a list of things she needed as gifts. She told me she wanted a purse and lot of 'make-ups' in it. We celebrated her birthday with Tres Leches cake and lots of gifts. Her grandparents bought her a dress, my mother send her a gift card, her best friend's mom gave her 'The littlest pet shop'.Laly aunty gave her books. She had two birthday celebrations. We celebrated with her friends at kid concepts U.S.A and at home with cake and gifts. I bought her a pink purse and filled it with goodies like nail polish, body spray, lip gloss, a pair of stockings, 3 bracelets. I also bought her a book- ' Because God gave us you'. Hannah was very excited about her gifts. She also loved the book. She made me read the book many times. It is the story of a Mama bear telling her little cub how excited she was from the time she conceived the Little cub and the Mama bear affirms her joy of having the little cub, by saying over and over again "because God gave us you." When the story closes the Mama bear tells the cub, " I wouldn't trade you for the world, because God gave us you." Hannah seemed to like that very much. That night when I put her to bed, she hugged me and said, " Amma, I wouldn't trade you for the world." I smiled and told her, "Hannah I wouldn't trade you for the world, because God gave us you."

Saturday, September 6, 2008

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Friday, September 5, 2008

Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God...

The above title is a verse from the bible. Hebrews 11: 16. Though I had read this verse and seen it before, this verse ministered to me so powerfully during Hannah's home going. Our Pastor based his sermon on this verse during one of those days.

As Christians we are so focused on the blessings of God. When trials happen, we forget to see the hand of God in it. We cannot understand how God could allow it or how God would be glorified in it. We like to portray our God as a God who blesses. Sure, God is a God who blesses. For reasons we cannot understand he also allows trials and persecutions in the lives of his children. Hebrews 11 is called the 'Hall of Faith'. This chapter talks about the heroes of faith. It talks about mighty things the great men of God did by faith. Interestingly, it also talks about these things.
verse 35-
There were those who, under torture, refused to give in and go free, preferring something better: resurrection. Others braved abuse and whips, and, yes, chains and dungeons. We have stories of those who were stoned, sawed in two, murdered in cold blood; stories of vagrants wandering the earth in animal skins, homeless, friendless, powerless—the world didn't deserve them!—making their way as best they could on the cruel edges of the world.

Not one of these people, even though their lives of faith were exemplary, got their hands on what was promised. God had a better plan for us: that their faith and our faith would come together to make one completed whole, their lives of faith not complete apart from ours

These are the ones who never received the promise. Yet, they lived in faith and died in faith. Now this is the BEST PART. Verse 16 that says, Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. Now, I want to shout aloud to those people who make God a vending machine for blessings, and tell them, faith is not just claiming and receiving. Real faith is when having lost all, you sing, " it is well with my soul.." Real faith is, unconditionally loving your Master, like my husband always says. Real faith is trusting God what ever comes your way. May God bless you with such faith.

One more day, to live.

I am trying to recollect all the things we did with Hannah the day before she went to be with the Lord. It was a Tuesday and both of us were off from work. Since we were both off from work, we decided to visit some one, as we usually do. The first person to come to our mind was our Pastor since he was in the process of buying a new home. We called him up and sure enough his offer for the new home was accepted, and he was going to see the house that day. We told him we would be there too, to see his new home. So, off we departed as a family, to visit the Pastor and our other friends living in that area.

I do not remember anything about the hour long journey. She usually plays her CD and listens to it with her head phones, so I am assuming she did the same. She was very excited to go since our Pastor's son is her best friend and she knew she could play when parents tour the house. I remember her running ahead of me as we got out and then she was LOST. She was lost in her own world of fun with Anderson[9], her best friend and his younger brother Jaeden[2.5]. I had to warn them many times to slow down, lest they get hurt and to be quiet since the Realtor was present there discussing several things with the men. Once or twice I held Hannah tight as I usually do, when she escalates into a hyper state, and warned her to calm down. She would calm down for a moment and then go WILD again running and going in circles on the hardwood floor.

When it was time to leave, the kids were not done yet. As the parents spend time talking outside the house they continued to have fun. I asked Hannah to stand in the shade as she got out into the the drive way, because Hannah gets bad sun burn. In retrospective vision, I was protecting her even that last day from something so minor. Could I have even imagined what was to come the next day?

Then it was lunch time and refusing Laly aunty's invitation for a sandwich dinner [ sincerely we did not want to burden her with an un notified visit ], we headed to the Chinese place. After lunch, I asked to be dropped at Laly aunty's place to nurse the baby when the rest of the family headed to see the construction work of the new home we had booked.[ This was very close to Pastor's new home ] Hannah was quite upset with this decision. As I got out the car, she asked permission to get out with me. I told her she was to go with the rest of the family and then later join me here. She started to get upset and cried "But its not fair, Juju gets to go with you". The reason why I did not want her to go with me was because she would get so uncontrollable once with her friends. We saw Pastor Alex's car in the drive way and knew Anderson and Jaeden were there. So once I go to nurse the baby, Hannah would be by herself with her friends and knowing her hyper excited nature once around her friends, I couldn't let her go with me.

Later my husband told me, she was whining in the car and complained that she did not want to see the construction at Millbrook. As soon as my husband parked his car at Millbrook, Hannah was the first one to jump out so excited to study the construction. She had forgotten all about her melancholy. Later they went to see a model home and Hannah told her grandmother pointing to a particular room, " When we move, I want this room".

In less than an hour they joined me and then Hannah had the blast of her day with Anderson, Jaeden and Asha. They were all upstairs playing and having fun. When we were getting ready to leave, Hannah ran downstairs and asked me " Amma, can I go to the park with Asha?" I told her we were leaving now and that we were going to her friend Tanya's house. She was so excited to hear the name 'Tanya'. Tanya was another friend from church Hannah was very fond of. On the way to Tanya's home Hannah must have asked at least 5 times, " Appa, are we going to Tanya's house?" Later at Tanya's house, Hannah and Tanya were bouncing on their bed. Since it was their new home, and it was Hannah's first time there, Tanya was taking Hannah around and giving her a tour of the house. Just as we were about to pull out from Tanya's drive way, Hannah screamed, "Appa, roll the window down, roll the window down." My husband, when talking to someone has a bad ear for Hannah. He was busy talking to Tanya's Dad. I told him to roll down the window and Hannah screamed out to Tanya " Tanya, Asha said to say Hi to you."

The sun was setting and Hannah had finished all her work. She had conveyed even her last message and had nothing more to do.... She could now rest... She had played all day like there was no tomorrow, and there was no tomorrow for her........

Back home, at bed time, her father put her to bed. There was always a cuddling time after prayer. That night she told him the story of ' The Little Red Riding Hood'. I walked in during the story and gave her my hugs and kisses. Later her father said goodnight and walked away. He never knew that would be the last night he would tuck her in.... That night was her last night.... The next day she would go to a city where there are no nights or darkness. ...And God himself is the light of that city. A city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God......

Thursday, September 4, 2008

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Hannah's Salvation Prayer.

The highlight of Hannah's life and death and the funeral service was a little piece of paper. The content of this paper spoke volumes to the many who came to visit us. From the responses we receive even today, we understand it has touched many lives. It inspired some to re dedicate their lives to Christ, many young children received Jesus into their lives as their Pastor or parents read the content to them. Yet, some struggle as they see this little piece of paper.

I remember like yesterday the day Hannah took this sheet to write down the most, most powerful words she ever wrote. It was exactly one month from her home going. As the day unfolded, I found myself sharing with Hannah about heaven and the need to be born again to enter heaven. I asked her if she was sure she would go to heaven, she said " I don't know". I told her if she had received Jesus into her life, she could be sure about this. She asked me how she could receive Jesus. There, near the counter top, I narrated to her a prayer. My intention was to say it first and then have her say it and write in down. As I was saying the prayer, without any prompting, I believe, she ran to get a piece of white sheet. She asked me to say it again and started scribbling down these words. After she finished writing it, I told her to put the date down. I helped her with the date and then knelt down beside her and took her in my hands and told her, "Hannah, if you sincerely prayed this prayer, I want you to know that you are born again. You have invited Jesus to your heart today. He will never leave you and today your name is written in the book of heaven. When you die, you will surely go to heaven." I told her never to forget this day and asked her to keep this in her Bible at all times. I also asked her to show it to her Dad. She ran downstairs with it and beamed with joy at her new creation. Her father in the midst of his work gave her a "proud of you!, look". I knew at that moment, her heavenly father must have marveled at her, His new creation!! God at that point must have known, Hannah was coming home exactly a month from that day.

I had told Hannah to keep this in her Bible. I saw Hannah intently reading this prayer couple of days after this incident. The next time I saw it, was when we went through her stuff the day after she died. I had forgotten about this incident and Hannah's grandmother reminded me about this prayer that she had written down. Together we went in search of this prayer and found it from her books. With trembling hands I opened it and read the prayer that once she prayed with me, there at the end was the date, 6/23/2008. At that moment without a shadow of doubt I knew God had orchestrated all the details of her very short life span for the glory of His name.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


This blog is set up in memory of our daughter Hannah. [2002 - 2008]

Yes, you guessed it right, she was six years old when she left her earthly tent and went to be with her Lord. Her glorious home going is still something we are struggling with, in this side of eternity. Our puny little minds do not understand why God called her home so soon, so prematurely. Or was it even premature? On her funeral day many said, "Hannah lived a full life!" I do not claim to have all the pieces together. May be I never will. I wailed at the thought that this was the only incident in my life that is not reversible. This incident has shaken us and the people in our lives and we are amazed at the brevity of life. At the same time having experienced such catastrophe, we begin to understand there is only one way, just ONE WAY we can be together again.

Bible speaks of a beautiful reunion in 1 Thessalonians 4: 13-17

And regarding the question, friends, that has come up about what happens to those already dead and buried, we don't want you in the dark any longer. First off, you must not carry on over them like people who have nothing to look forward to, as if the grave were the last word. Since Jesus died and broke loose from the grave, God will most certainly bring back to life those who died in Jesus.
15-18And then this: We can tell you with complete confidence—we have the Master's word on it—that when the Master comes again to get us, those of us who are still alive will not get a jump on the dead and leave them behind. In actual fact, they'll be ahead of us. The Master himself will give the command. Archangel thunder! God's trumpet blast! He'll come down from heaven and the dead in Christ will rise—they'll go first. Then the rest of us who are still alive at the time will be caught up with them into the clouds to meet the Master. Oh, we'll be walking on air! And then there will be one huge family reunion with the Master. So reassure one another with these words.

So reassure one another with these words.......

This is the purpose of this blog. I intend to encourage my family members, friends, and those who have gone through these situations with the wonderful hope that only Jesus can give.

Oh ! what a glorious day that will be. Just the thought that we will all be united together one day in the air. Best of all, I did not attain this privilege because of anything I did. Or let me put it this way, nothing I did or could ever do, will attain me this privilege. But there was a God who sought a relationship with me. He was willing to do anything to get my friendship. Yet I was so unaware of this. I went on living my own life. I used to pray and ask God for "blessings". But that was it. I was not interested in any sort of relationships with this creator of mine. I thought of myself as a "good person" not involved in any taboos and was determined to make it with my good deeds.

But one day, I came to know the truth. The truth is your good deeds won't take you to heaven.[Isiah 64:6] The truth is none of us are good enough to stand before this God ]Romans 3;10]. The truth is you don't have to do anything to attain his favor. He did it all!! The truth is God send his son and bore the punishment for your sins. He died in your place. John 3;16 says, God loved the world so much that he send his son, So that whoever believes in Jesus shall have eternal life. This my friend is the reason for my hope.

Having said that, Let me make it clear.

The purpose of this blog is not to debate or have various theological arguments. This is purely a memorial for Hannah. After Hannah's passing away , my memory loss has heightened and now I am beginning to forget many wonderful times that we together had with Hannah. So let this blog be a journey with Hannah. Let it be a timeline of Hannah's life span. A place to carve all the beauty of a life well lived. To re-live those memories and cherish her all over again. To capture those fading imprints that she gracefully left behind and to be able to etch them in the minds of my family one more time....