Its been three months since you called Hannah home.The day she died, I was so numb, I couldn't even analyse if it was 'faith' or if it was 'shock' that held me so strong! I was deeply wounded, seeing my family torn apart in bereavement. Those days, all I thought was how to be an effective witness for you. I had always thought and played in my mind an image of me standing up and being an effective witness in times of crisis. Thank you for giving me the strength. I never thought I would have to go three months without her. Because I was so sure, rapture was close. I longed every day and night to hear the trumpet call. You have brought me thus far with hope...I still wait for the rapture. I long to be in my home... to rest eternally.
There is nothing exciting for me here, dear Lord. All I long is for You. Nothing in this world seem to excite me. I have truly become a stranger and alien in this world.
I am not bitter Lord, but I don't have anything to tell you these days. I sit in your presence and make myself praise you. I believe you are faithful and will bring me home..But when it comes to blessing me here on earth, I am not too sure of it. Because I wrestle with limited understanding on defining the term "blessing". Help me to see the way you see things. When I look, I see you taking her from me ,when I asked you for protecting her. When I look, I see discouragement and nothing going too well with us. Yet I choose to believe the scriptures that says " your ways are just and your judgements are righteous".You always do what is right in the lives of your children.
You have the wisdom that I do not have
You are God and I am not!
You are hope of the nations, yet
you are the hope of my World today!
Apart from you there is no hope for me
My world is waiting on you to come get me!
Events in my life are
Though I grieve, yet I rejoice
Because I serve a manger born King
Lion of Judah, slain as a lamb
Man of sorrows, creator of the universe
Hope for the hopeless and
Resurrection for the dead.