Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Shadow box

I made this shadow box as a memorial for Hannah and now it is kept in our living room. It contains some of the precious things that Hannah loved and Hannah used. It also contains a lock of her hair that was given to me from the E.R of the hospital where she was pronounced dead. I shall go over each item here and explain its significance.

Birth announcement- This was on her bassinet on the day she was born. It was rather like an information tag for the hospital staff. It has my last name, her birth weight, her height, head circumference, date she was born, name of my doctor and medical group.

Birth picture- Hannah posing on my arms with her dad nearby,for her first picture with the entire labor "crew". The one in blue scrubs is my doctor.

Name HANNAH- Hannah wrote this with glitters at preschool with her teacher's help.

Pink Purse- Hannah had been asking me for a purse, for her 6th birthday. One of my gifts were this purse filled with make-up goodies. On July 23rd, the day she went to be with the Lord, just before we left home, I asked her if she had taken her library card, because we wanted to stop by the library to get some books. She said she did not have it. I had to help her get the purse down from the shelf. I was also trying to get her into the habit of carrying her purse and be responsible for it. So off we went that day and she had it in her lap the time she died... So it is very precious to her and me. I later got a blood stained purse from the stuff they gathered from the wrecked car. On top of the purse you can see her Coast Christian school I.D badge and the bible that was given to her on the day of her dedication. Attached to the purse is a pink bracelet that I gave her on her last birthday here.

Picture with Abigail- Any memorial for Hannah is not complete without portraying her love for Abigail. This picture was taken when Abigail was brought home from the hospital for the first time. Hannah held her for a considerably long time until we were done putting things away that we brought from the hospital.

Watch- We got this watch for Hannah to teach her time management. We would set up alarm for her and she tried her best to wake up and finish her milk on time! This watch was always on her hand, except when she got in for a shower. Again, she had it on that day and the hospital staff gave it back to us.

Pink marker- Pink was her favorite color and markers and pencils were part of her life. She drew, she wrote and occupied her self with her love for reading and writing.

Hannah' s program brochure printed for her home going service.

Fruit "lollops" and chewing gum-Another passion of Hannah, beyond reading and writing. She must be chewing on a lot of them, walking on the streets of gold.

Earrings- A gift from her uncle, she had been wearing it over a year. Again, we collected it from the coroner's office.

Lock of her hair- while I was collecting things for he shadow box, I remembered her hair given to me from the hospital. I had much difficulty taking it out, because her hair was her... it was part of her.... it was part of her body....I had stroked that hair countless number of times....I had brushed and tied her hair every single day... I pulled on her pony tail and kissed on her hair and shampooed her hair every single day....everything else in the shadow box was of hers but her hair was HER. As I took it out from the box, my hands were not shaky, but my heart was pounding. I was shocked at the lock of hair I was holding... I tried to stroke it... NO, it was not the same...something was missing... It was COLD! There was no life in it... it didn't feel like her hair that was once soft and full of life, bouncy and wavy... this feeling was different. I had heard that death was cold. But this was beyond it, lifeless... the lock was stuck together like someone had glued it. It was hard and DEAD.

Birthday candle- I had saved it for some reason, I am glad I did.

Clothes- Hannah was wearing this pink T-shirt and skirt at home, before she changed to go to the park. For the first time, she had it neatly folded on her bed over the pillow and spread her comforter over it. That's where I found this dress on the day she died. I never got a chance to appreciate her for this work done so neatly. Someday I will get to see her and I shall tell her all these things. But, will the things of earth become strangely dim at the light of heaven? I do not know, but I shall continue to love her there in the presence of my Lord.

Hair band-Hannah always had this on her head. This was her favorite head band. Though I bought her another one, she continued to use this. My husband had to go to take out all the stuff from the wrecked car the day after the accident. He came back and told me, He couldn't bear the sight of this head band resting by the brake lights on top of the back seat. He could not look at the head band and not see Hannah's head under it. He imagined at the impact of the accident, the head band flying away and resting on top of the brake lights. This brought so much pain into his heart. He could not finish telling me that without sobbing.

I put Hannah's comb and her half used cotton candy perfume inside the head band. Hannah loved her perfume, though she smelled of cotton candy after wearing that perfume, I had started getting used to a "Cotton candy Hannah".It was a gift to Hannah from 'Laly mummy' our Pastor's wife, who she affectionately named so.

Those are the shoes we bought from target on her birthday with the gift card her grandmother gifted her with. After bringing Hannah to the E.R from the accident site as the paramedic lady rolled away her stretcher, she stopped by me and wished me all the best, then she handed one of Hannah's shoes to me. I grabbed it instantly and put it in my bag. Later, we got the other pair from the hospital staff.

I like the way they call this a shadow box. To me everything in it are just shadows.... One day we will hear the trumpet call and the dead in Christ shall rise first. Yes, Hannah's glorious body is going to rise from the grave, just like Jesus rose, after he died. It will join her spirit, which is with the Lord at this time. Then, the bible says, we who are alive, will be caught up with him in the air. This is called "rapture". And there will be a glorious reunion in the air. Her face will not be marred like the last time we saw it, she is going to get a glorious new body. This is the hope of everyone who has put their trust in Jesus. The life here on the earth will just become a shadow on that day. Everything we strive for, everything we build here, every work we do.... all will be shadows of the glorious things God will reveal to us on that day.

To those who read me today and know-not what I am talking about, Jesus came to the earth 2000 years ago, to identify with human life, he lived for 33 years and then died on the cross, for our sins. he took our punishment on the cross and died the death we were supposed to get, so that by believing in Him, even though we die, we shall rise again from the dead and live for ever with Him. He did this because he loves you so much to see you die, without hope. All you need to do is to believe in your heart, Jesus died for your sins, and receive the new life Jesus wants to give you. When you do this, you are born again into the kingdom of God. Jesus says, "I am the resurrection and the life, he who believes in me, will live even though he dies." John 11:25.

May God help you to understand this truth and help you to put your trust in Him.

p.s If you happened to put your trust in Jesus Christ through any circumstance, Please let us know, leave a comment for me.

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Anonymous said...

Hannah was such a beautiful little girl. I had tears streaming down my face reading this. I was researching shadow boxes for a memorial I am making for my grandmothers daughter that died of SIDS 61 years ago. I just wanted to say may God Bless you and keep you.


HopeinChrist. said...

Thank you Jaclyn for your kind comment and wishes. All the best on your project.